Yelp's Censored Review of The Stranger

[The following review was removed from Yelp after seven weeks.  Four Yelpers found it "funny," two "useful," and one "cool."  Its purpose was to have The Stranger re-examine its own reverse racism, by use of a parody of the style employed by that newspaper:  abusive, belittling, profane, obscene, and offensive.  Two can play at that game].

"Let's have an auto-da-fe for these Afro-Saxons!"

For the most racist mass circulation newspaper in the Pacific Northwest: Race-baiting, racial self-flagellation, and news slanting in every issue!

The Stranger uses WHITEY, HONKY*, CHINAMAN... to casually refer to Caucasians and Chinese (but never, God forbid, uses the "n-word" to refer to a black person or "k---" to refer to a Jew) in its Feb.1-8, 2012 issue.

Let's refer from now on to Gary Locke as that "Chink former governor," but NOT Obama as the "nigger president," Antonio Villaraigosa as the "wetback mayor of L.A?" but NOT Bloomberg as "the Hymie mayor of New York"?

Racial/ethnic slurs are ALL ugly and made all the uglier by the fact that The Stranger has decided that some are O.K., whereas others are not.

* words I heard when I was being beaten up and kicked when growing up.

* * * * *

The following is worthy of submission to The Stranger:

"While shopping downtown recently I was startled by people shouting, pushing, hitting, shoving, and screaming. I glanced the people who were acting in a way that I labelled as "aggressive," instead of realizing that these young people of color were just having a good time.

One of them must have seen that my scared look, as he started to glare at me.

If at that moment he had beaten the sh-- out of me , it would have been MY own fault. My being afraid in itself was provocation, black people having been lynched just for walking to the grocery store.

I need to read more Franz Fanon, Eldridge Cleaver, and Toni Morrison, see a Spike Lee film, and listen to more hip-hop so these things don't happen to me."

* * * * *

The murder of Morgan Junction murder of January 21, 2012* will probably not get (or at best a one-paragraph mention in the weekly round-up) be noted at all by The Stranger, while the misconduct of the Seattle Police Department will continue to get cover-issue coverage.

And the race of the killer and the victim will be concealed (contrast with Trayvon Martin killing).

* http://westseattleblog.com/2012/01/morgan-junction-shooting-suspect-charged-with

* * * * *

Let's have that honky Jen Graves sit in a dunce-cap and play a cello (or tap out an article on her laptop) one evening at the bus-stop outside Ezell's Fried Chicken at 23rd & Jefferson for a couple of hours...to atone for the stupid white men of The Stranger.

(Ain't no colo' people gonna help that white bi--- Jen, man, an' dat's da truth! An' no Chinaman--Ichiro's a Chinaman, right?--gonna help 'er outta dis sh--).

* * * * *

Thankfully, Dan Savage continues uninterrupted his non-PC franc-parler.

But someone should tell Jen Graves that self-abuse in public is not attractive, and that if she really IS into S & M--I didn't say M & M--but isn't getting it, she ought consult Dan.

Jen, I know you have strong urges--we all do--and I know you feel alone. But you can't just do it anywhere and expect people's gonna respect you.

No, looking for "it" outside of Ezell's some dark evening at the bus shelter is NOT a (good) solution.* You'll get "it" once, but you think it'll last? And then you'll be back to writing reams of True Confessions from a Privileged Female Cracker for The Stranger.

Either that or in a coma.

What will these kids think of next?

Jen, honey, did you ever ask Charles? Whatever you do, dear, YIKES, don't do "it" in public, p-u-l-l-e-e-z-e!

And, hey, I'm not knocking people into lovin' master & slave ...bondage ...whips...chains...sucker punches...role-play . Live and let live, I say.

Black-and-blue, just blame it on the economy, high unemployment among inner city youth...

Jen, you, is one BAD cracker-jack, know what I mean?

* * * * *

Heard recently through the grapevine:

"We need what they call an "."auto-da-fe where we can heap on the stupid white men of The Stranger, including Rebecca Brown--you think being a lesbian gonna save your ass? 'Becky, Yo' people lynch and enslave my people for centuries. Look in the mirror, wha'dya see? You's 100% crack, too...uh, I mean, cracker. We gotta a right to smash yo' fu----- face in.'

Tell Eli, too, his Hebe lily-white ass ain't safe, either.

WIGGERS, git! And replace them white trash at The Stranger with staff of The Medium.

(The Stranger don't hire no Chinks or wetbacks, so we don't gotta fu-- with them.)

Anyone who's says they is afraid of young black men is racist. No one gonna make me believe blacks commit violence at 10 times the rate of other races, no way in hell. And if they try, I'm gonna beat the sh-- out of them.

"What about the Vietnamese Buddhist who was beaten to death with a hammer on his porch in Tacoma?"

A lie. Violence in the black community? Ain't none, it's a racist lie. Who bring up violence in the first place? You did. Sh--, how many TEETH ya wanna lose?*

As for Dan, man, ain't gonna kick his ass. I got better uses for it."

Baby, we're gonna get some sweet Justice & Equality. Awesome.

"Let's have an auto-da-fe for these Afro-Saxons!"

For the most racist mass circulation newspaper in the Pacific Northwest: Race-baiting, racial self-flagellation, and news slanting in every issue!

The Stranger uses WHITEY, HONKY*, CHINAMAN... to casually refer to Caucasians and Chinese (but never, God forbid, uses the "n-word" to refer to a black person or "k---" to refer to a Jew) in its Feb.1-8, 2012 issue.

Let's refer from now on to Gary Locke as that "Chink former governor," but NOT Obama as the "nigger president," Antonio Villaraigosa as the "wetback mayor of L.A?" but NOT Bloomberg as "the Hymie mayor of New York"?

Racial/ethnic slurs are ALL ugly and made all the uglier by the fact that The Stranger has decided that some are O.K., whereas others are not.

* words I heard when I was being beaten up and kicked when growing up.

* * * * *

The following is worthy of submission to The Stranger:

"While shopping downtown recently I was startled by people shouting, pushing, hitting, shoving, and screaming. I glanced the people who were acting in a way that I labelled as "aggressive," instead of realizing that these young people of color were just having a good time.

One of them must have seen that my scared look, as he started to glare at me.

If at that moment he had beaten the sh-- out of me , it would have been MY own fault. My being afraid in itself was provocation, black people having been lynched just for walking to the grocery store.

I need to read more Franz Fanon, Eldridge Cleaver, and Toni Morrison, see a Spike Lee film, and listen to more hip-hop so these things don't happen to me."

* * * * *

The murder of Morgan Junction murder of January 21, 2012* will probably not get (or at best a one-paragraph mention in the weekly round-up) be noted at all by The Stranger, while the misconduct of the Seattle Police Department will continue to get cover-issue coverage.

And the race of the killer and the victim will be concealed (contrast with Trayvon Martin killing).

* http://westseattleblog.com/2012/01/morgan-junction-shooting-suspect-charged-with

* * * * *

Let's have that honky Jen Graves sit in a dunce-cap and play a cello (or tap out an article on her laptop) one evening at the bus-stop outside Ezell's Fried Chicken at 23rd & Jefferson for a couple of hours...to atone for the stupid white men of The Stranger.

(Ain't no colo' people gonna help that white bi--- Jen, man, an' dat's da truth! An' no Chinaman--Ichiro's a Chinaman, right?--gonna help 'er outta dis sh--).

* * * * *

Thankfully, Dan Savage continues uninterrupted his non-PC franc-parler.

But someone should tell Jen Graves that self-abuse in public is not attractive, and that if she really IS into S & M--I didn't say M & M--but isn't getting it, she ought consult Dan.

Jen, I know you have strong urges--we all do--and I know you feel alone. But you can't just do it anywhere and expect people's gonna respect you.

No, looking for "it" outside of Ezell's some dark evening at the bus shelter is NOT a (good) solution.* You'll get "it" once, but you think it'll last? And then you'll be back to writing reams of True Confessions from a Privileged Female Cracker for The Stranger.

Either that or in a coma.

What will these kids think of next?

Jen, honey, did you ever ask Charles? Whatever you do, dear, YIKES, don't do "it" in public, p-u-l-l-e-e-z-e!

And, hey, I'm not knocking people into lovin' master & slave ...bondage ...whips...chains...sucker punches...role-play . Live and let live, I say.

Black-and-blue, just blame it on the economy, high unemployment among inner city youth...

Jen, you, is one BAD cracker-jack, know what I mean?

* * * * *

Heard recently through the grapevine:

"We need what they call an "."auto-da-fe where we can heap on the stupid white men of The Stranger, including Rebecca Brown--you think being a lesbian gonna save your ass? 'Becky, Yo' people lynch and enslave my people for centuries. Look in the mirror, wha'dya see? You's 100% crack, too...uh, I mean, cracker. We gotta a right to smash yo' fu----- face in.'

Tell Eli, too, his Hebe lily-white ass ain't safe, either.

WIGGERS, git! And replace them white trash at The Stranger with staff of The Medium.

(The Stranger don't hire no Chinks or wetbacks, so we don't gotta fu-- with them.)

Anyone who's says they is afraid of young black men is racist. No one gonna make me believe blacks commit violence at 10 times the rate of other races, no way in hell. And if they try, I'm gonna beat the sh-- out of them.

"What about the Vietnamese Buddhist who was beaten to death with a hammer on his porch in Tacoma?"

A lie. Violence in the black community? Ain't none, it's a racist lie. Who bring up violence in the first place? You did. Sh--, how many TEETH ya wanna lose?*

As for Dan, man, ain't gonna kick his ass. I got better uses for it."

Baby, we're gonna get some sweet Justice & Equality. Awesome.